谷底的心

心
跌落到谷底去了。
沒想到自己會那麼在意
在意得除了覺得低落
什麼也提不起勁了。

心
跌落到谷底去了。
是不是只有我一個被留下？
我在意得差點可以邊走邊哭
貢茶也不想喝了。

心
跌落到谷底去了。

原來在這種時候
我是那麼地依賴
那麼地依賴這新事兒

依賴新事兒
可以暫且忘掉
每天都得想起的難過
所以日子好像變得沒那麼難過了。

可是心
還是跌落到谷底去了。
新事兒好像不太需要我

可是我還需要自己
所以只好等待
在谷底的心
慢慢地攀爬上來。

十月份报告 | Monthly Report: October 2011

Things happened.

I'm trying to cope with it by searching for a job, in hope that when he recovers, I could tell him I'm happily working in some company already. He had seen me doing nothing at home after I completed my studies. I think this used to worried him. I'm trying to make up for things - although I'm not sure how. I even thought that maybe it was because that I wanted to run away from problems, so I kept myself busy with my job. But I think it's not really running away, it's just that I wanted to do something, than to see him suffer and couldn't help.

Hope is getting vague each day. But I still want to believe, things happen for a reason, and us being in the situation can't see the big picture yet. So I want to keep on believing, no matter how impossible it may seem, because God is infinite. I believe in miracles, and I want to witness the miracle. I will keep on believing in the most impossible, because God can make everything possible.


1. Relationship with God.

- Attended twice of church online sermons for the first two weeks.


4. Reading.

- Read Clive Barker's The Thief Of Always, graphic novel adaptation.

5. Train my left hand.


For brushing teeth and petty little things occasionally, because my right hand's aching doesn't occur so often anymore.