给自己的生日礼物

[更新 11/07/10] 图画终于……完成了！

>> 23岁的生日礼物 <<

[更新完毕]

每年生日，害怕的不是没有人记得，也不担心有没人为我庆祝，也不担心没有蛋糕还是没有礼物。 我只是很害怕自己回望的时候，发现自己还是停留在去年相同的地方，没有前进。 学如逆水行舟，不进则退；停留在原地，我就是一步步地在往后退了，难过。 我跟一个非常细腻的朋友，大概很相似。我们喜欢收集、整理、收藏、回顾。我们有非一般的储物癖，可以沉溺在回忆里很久很久，还有很强的感受力。唯一的差别在于，我的整理能力总不如人。不整理，思绪和生活会乱，乱了就无法表达；没有整理好说出来的，就永远还是乱乱的模糊不清的混沌。

停留了很久，年纪大了比较害怕不习惯，所以总是安于早已习惯的习惯。
大约四年了，习惯了没有画画也无所谓，习惯了没有买漫画也无所谓，习惯了没有看漫画也无所谓。

环境的影响确实很大，当身边的人只看没有营养的书，只说没有营养的空洞话题，读书只为了考试那种心态非常可怕；生日是为了切蛋糕的想法也很可怕；国庆日、圣诞节是为了倒数的想法也很可怕。

一个人倒不可怕，可怕的是没有知音。

-------------

早些时候看过关于The Law Of Attraction的短片，近来也有点不可思议地心想事成了。每天要做让自己开心满足的事，让自己开心满足的事，绝对不可以放弃掉。

我给自己的生日礼物，两个字: revert, renew。有点粗糙，但我的情况是这样。

仿佛回到中学生时代，找回了让自己开心满足的事，抓紧当年当时的心，闭上眼回到今天，用过去很单纯的喜爱，藉着新环境里的知音，更新体内的能量。

有一张我正在努力着的画，跟我的生日礼物一样的意义。那是一张很旧的铅笔稿，近来我慢慢地修改。我的23岁，也要这样，把旧的未完成，翻新继续。

-------------

感谢主的聆听与指引，感谢母亲把我辛苦生下，感谢父母亲把我抚养长大，感谢家人给我足够的自由，感谢楚文让我了解另一面的自己，感谢知己好友陪我一起成长，感谢所有萍水相逢却给我很有力量的鼓励，感谢所有曾经让我生气、厌恶的人，我才可以学会宽恕，也还在学习中。

沥沥，生日快乐！

黑夜之后

我
又重读了
村上春树的《黑夜之后》。

高三那年读过一遍。
大二（本来应该是大三了）
这年又重读了一遍。

究竟是喜欢村上春树的叙事技巧，还是喜欢赖明珠的翻译文字
我想我也说不上来，两者缺一的话，大概我也无法如此地喜爱。

真的很偶然，偶然得不像一般纯粹的偶然而已。

那天刚把未读完的《黑》放下，随手整理我凌乱的杂物（我的杂物总是

没有办法很好的整理完），发现高中用笔心笔写在废纸上的小日记（现

在那篇小日记好像回到了凌乱的杂物堆里），里头提到了自己和浅井惠

丽，还有那不想醒来的、沉沉的睡眠。

我并没有在我重读《黑》之前发现，也没有在重读《黑》之后发现，
也没有在早些年没有读什么书的时候发现，就
偏偏只在我正在重读《黑》的时候发现。

那种虚虚实实之间的意境，好像是一种很真实的虚幻，或是一种虚幻的

真实，也不想去分界限了。情感总是写得不浓，却是一种淡淡的深刻。

黑夜之后，我喜欢，静静地感受。



后记:
有一点后悔呢，那一次我没有澄清，村上春树的小说被说成是成人小说

了。可是关于价值观，我也没有资格去定论谁是谁非，只能说，啊我们

的价值观还真不一样啊。

十天

倒数十天。

嘿，好久没写写说说了。
我又变得不是自己了
变得自己一点也不喜欢的自己。

也只能撑下去
走错路了吗？
我也不敢说

如果一个人开心的时候
可以每天嘴巴一直微张微笑着
那么我大概是那种
在不开心的时候
我可以在醒着的每一分钟
都哭泣流泪的人

辅导中心总是说
自己的感觉
就是自己的警钟

那天哥在面子书
回复了我意志消沉的近况(status)
给了我鼓励的话
看过之后
我偷偷的哭了

"Hang in there :) Important to not not put yourself down too much. If this place is not the right place, it's fine, just go with it, then once it's over, look for it elsewhere."

最后十天，
努力！

狠心

只是因为不忍心
所以优柔寡断

有时
狠下心来
大概

才可以走得远一点

压抑

我是一个在权威下长大的孩子

请不要鄙视我落泪
请不要责备我不语

如果落下的泪能述说我的沉默
该有多好

原来以前所看见的
只是一幕海市蜃楼

心底最渴望的
能否在梦里寻
我也不知道

现在，我也还是一个
在权威下长大了的孩子
压抑成了一种无法删除的本能。

回

我
回首望自己
我无地自容

物质永远
滋润不了的
内心干涸

需要单纯
深刻
的感动

回想
昔日的生命力
我嫌恶
行尸走肉

我声音很小
但文字涂鸦可以
很响亮

你想起了么
这样的我

回顾以往
快乐的充实
想念那
乱中有序的
自己

我
虽无法
回去

但
我可以学着
回来

回到
属于自己
的自己

--------
请重组下列文字，成为有意义的句子：

由 / 小口 / 是 / 回 / 组成 / 大口 / 字 / 形 / 四方 / 两个 / 和 / 的


--------
回字是由大口和小口组成的两个四方形
--------

（你有想起
这样的我
么）

舞踏果酱 (ButohJam) 观后感

简介：

Event: Butoh Jam
Date: 8-8-2009 (Saturday)
Venue: Annexe Gallery@ Central Market

Butoh Jam is an inspiring art event presented by Nyoba Kan, which is a jamming/compilation/improvisation of installation, light, sound and butoh dance.

Installation: Yap Sau Bin
Lighting: Tan Eng Heng
Sound: Goh Lee Kwang
Butoh: Caecar Chong

Click here for event link on facebook

This was my first experience in a butoh performance.

Photo above credited to Jacky Tan
Click for more Butoh Jam Photos, taken by Jacky Tan and me

观后感：

仿佛移动的影子在说着故事
一种半梦半醒般的视觉陶醉
一种重复性的沉着和模糊的期待

当自己已经分辩不清周遭的悦声
和心里的噪音
我想这是我唯一能让渐麻痹的感官
和久久压抑的心理
肆无忌惮地投入没有对错的纯艺术里头——享受。

表演里的其中几段，让我有特别深刻的印象——电话线路的干扰(interference),雨声和雨伞和排成线的手制小布多娃娃。

追梦人生中的干扰
有多少次停留是因为温柔的阻碍？
有多少次后退是为了自己胆怯的自我保护？
又有多少次的前进只因背着不可遗弃的负担？

我无法写出艺术与思想的亲密关系，我只知道少了这样的体验，我只是一副没有梦没有心的躯体。

电影赏析 ： Avatar

Film Name: Avatar (2009)
Directed by: James Cameron

不完全是一篇film study, 因为我只看了一遍。
也不算是一篇影评或 film review，因为这是一篇很personal的分享。
也不打算用单一语言来述写我的想法，因为这是一篇比较直觉性的和直接联想到的一篇想法，而我是这样思考的。

[Note: Contain spoilers of Avatar, District 9 and Neon Genesis Evangelion.]



当电影开始述说pilot操控avatar的方式，Neon Genesis Evangelion (NGE) 便是第一个闪过我脑海里的名词。因为NGE里的机械人Evangelion也不是机械而是一种外星生物，pilot也是透过神经系统和头脑思想来操作的，跟Avatar类似。NGE是一部很特别、很有概念的动画，人物设计和视觉效果都很棒，我几乎完全被那抽象但入骨的心理情绪所感染，久久无法抽身。

无法抽身啊，Avatar主角Jake Sully 也是几乎发现自己陷入一种identity crisis里，分裂于真假现实之间。我们的网络community也有这样的力量，可以匿名，可以伪装成别人，可以成为和现实里和自己完全不一样的人；电影 Avatar似乎满足了现代人的alter-ego心态,还有很仔细设计过的每一草一木，让Pandora世界梦一样地真实存在。

主要连接两个世界的主题或概念应该是信仰。拜金主义、物质主义还有相信心灵沟通的。一部电影述说一个时代，我们这个时代也许就是这样，科技产品的层出不穷让我们依赖冷冰冰的产品机械多过注重人与人之间的情感交流；电影里无信仰或拜金主义的人是自大、目中无人的Quaritch和Selfridge，因为把自己放在最高；Na'vi族以及被感动的Grace, Norm和Jake，因为信仰Eywa，所以是把自己的信仰放在最高、最重要的位置，所以并不会因为自己而自大，而是为了自己心中的信仰、心中的创造神而勇敢奋斗。

结局很美好，虽然情感上有差于Peter Jackson的District 9，但异曲同工之处在于两部电影都是让身为人类的主角成了电影里的另一种“人类”。District 9的人类转变为外星人是悲哀的，而Avatar里的变化却反映出一种“脱离悲哀”想法，到了一种漂亮美好的梦幻世界里。对我而言，Neon Genesis Evangelion是抽象且情绪化的，District 9是现实和悲哀的，而Avatar是在不美好的现实里让人向往着一种梦幻般的美好。

技巧上，最喜欢的是它的平铺直叙里头的前呼后应，还有精简顺畅的情节。人物与场景设计都下了不少心思，每个角色有显著的特色和差别，对白上也交代了很多故事背景，尤其在开场时角色之间的对白。也许没有District 9的叙述方式特别，但两者都同样用了video log的key item，作为不同的用途，District 9作为带动故事的前进key item，而Avatar用来“缩短情节”，让Quaritch掌握了重要线索而解释了他所采取的攻击行动。还有一些重要线索说明时间的部分，我也很喜欢，比如Jake的胡须和头发长了，说明了在电影里的时间经过。

当然最让人陶醉的，还是Pandora栩栩如生的鲜艳梦幻世界，有人、有生物、有草有树有天空；有历史、有希望、有感情。

我无法不把District9和Neon Genesis Evangelion与Avatar联想在一起。如果我少看任何一部作品，我想我不会有那么深的感触。District 9，述说人性与悲哀，还反映了一种渺茫和未知的希望；NGE表达了内心挣扎的无助和情绪的抽象；而Avatar把District 9 里用suspense带出的希望，用“信仰”的方式在视觉上实现了一种心底的憧憬，让NGE里头的无助感得到了一种安慰。

我也因为Avatar里Na'vi的信仰，而得到一种心灵上的安慰与感动。

2009 最后的愿望 （已编辑）

日语：
2009最後の願い! （yenyen: 用得对吗？）

前言：
我很想念日语，真想明年可以定时找yenyen出来跟我一起复习日语，我还没有收入，所以无法报名正式日文课。

你看，想未来，可以是一件很愉快的事，我们这么多年来不懂说了多少次“以后我要这样那样的”；我现在也很想静静地坐下来拟定2010的大小计划，可是我没有这个勇气，也不敢有这种闲情了，我只有2009的最後の願い（saigo no negai)。

最後の願い：
学业及格。

我当然还有一些小愿望要完成的，可是相较之下，其他的都变得微不足道了；也因为这一个梦魇施予的压力，其他的好像变得没那么重要了；仿佛只要这一个一完成，其他的都会迎刃而解了。

收到Cikgu Ong写给同学们的信，还是天蝎座老师一针见血，与大家

共勉之：
“学习是自愿和奉献。不要为失败找借口。成功的孩子为成功而努力。”

后语：
我为学习新知识而喜悦，却总为学习新技能而苦恼。技能方面我总是比别人弱，可是我也不能够逃避我的弱点，总还是必须面对、努力、克服。

祝我可以努力完成我的最后最大的愿望。


[已编辑，edited]

听看过这则14岁少女被性侵犯的新闻后，我久久无法入眠。

我气愤、我痛心，然后再回头看自己刚写过的这篇，我突然很鄙视我自己。

为何我目光会变得如此短浅？为何越长大，就越不敢面对问题？连14岁的小女孩都敢站起来为自己说话，还必须默默地忍受身旁与社会的眼光，还有就是面对大人一点都不想负责任的失望。

我鄙视自己的肤浅，我就是不想成为一个只重视自身事而不理社会事的人。我没有每天阅报的习惯，但我还能说我周末在家会看报，平日没报闲着也会网上阅报，现在还正慢慢读着龙应台老师的《百年思索》和景克宁教授的《客厅里的大学》，说出来还真羞人，我都几岁了? 怎么还为着学业不如意一事而搞得自己作息乱了、新闻也不看了、课外书也不看了、家务也不做了、心情也经常跌落谷底了？

我是真的太幸福了，所以成了草莓族。我鄙视自己变成草莓族了，受压能力怎么低成这样？在后语里我竟然还写了“最大的愿望”来形容我想要及格的愿望，仿佛那是一种不可能似的语气。回想中学，我也绝不会说我最大的愿望就是高数、物理、和化学科及格！回想中学，我好像都比现在坚强。

为什么越长大，就越不敢负责任？

社会那么大，我只是其中一员；人生那么漫长，大学也只是一个驻站。我竟然把自己的学业问题用放大镜当成是世界末日来看了，我还真不好意思说我是一个大学生。1919年的五四运动，是由学生发起的，提倡民主科学；而我今天身为一个大学生，只是一颗一压就烂的外靓内软的草莓。

受害小女孩很勇敢地面对自己被欺凌的事件，5名青年嫌犯也在一点道德观念都不存在下的情况勇敢犯罪；然而大人却畏缩地逃避问题。为什么我们总是要让受害者受更多的伤害？为什么大人总是不敢再为受害者挺身讨公道？社会问题，总是找不到愿意负责任的一方。

修改了用词，我说，我2009年的最后目标是学业及格。

而我2009年最后的愿望就是我要重新学会为自己的事负责任，我不要再沦为腐烂的草莓族。

这里还有些关于这新闻的相关文章：
把公義，還給這個受傷的女生：主編有話
把公義，還給這個受傷的女生：女孩，你仍然是天使。
梁惠美：資訊泛濫‧青少年易陷情慾誘惑

[编辑于4.33am]

Brokenness

Read about 'brokenness' recently, brokenness in Christianity.
Here are some links.

http://www.krisbelfils.com/Kris_Belfils/Brokenness.html
http://www.annemurchison.com/brokenness.htm
http://www.findthepower.com/inspirationstorehouse/topicBROKENNESS.htm
http://www.articlesbase.com/religion-articles/bible-versesinspirational-encouraging-bible-message-for-human-brokenness-818837.html

My life is a mess.

I tried to find an easy way out.
I probably did not want to completely accept the fact that I have failed miserably and that I have been doing nothing in order to change, because I never wanted to admit my wrongdoings and my sins because of pride and self-righteousness in myself.

That day when I felt really devastated and afraid that I am repeating the same mistake again - and probably I have arrived at its consequence - failing, I happen to check my email that my father forwarded to me which is ironically about failure. This is not just a coincidence, I knew it.

In the email, it says that :

Failure doesn't mean that you are a failure, it means you have not yet succeeded;
Failure doesn't mean that you have accomplished nothing, it means you have learned something;
Failure doesn't mean that you will never be able to do it, it means you have to do it in a different way;
Failure doesn't mean that you are inferior, it means that you are not perfect;
Failure doesn't mean that have wasted your life, it means that you have to start afresh;
Failure doesn't mean that you should give up, it means that you have to try very very hard;
Failure doesn't mean that you will never achieve, it just takes a little longer;
Failure doesn't mean that God has abandoned you, it's because God has a better idea! You will get the idea if you have faith in Him.

Failures made me feel depressed and broken, but this brokenness is a must in order to shatter my pride and self-righteousness, this is the conclusion that I have come to. Thus I must not dwell deeper onto the wrong road, I want to leave my comfort zone and run in desperation to Him, for He could heal my blindness and make me whole.

Below is an excerpt from -link-, that I would like to share and to remind myself of.

Matthew 5:4 reads, "God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted." Know that you can be renewed and transformed through the Great One but it takes humility in order for these experiences to take place. Human pride often blocks our dealing with painful problems. Once we finally admit our wrongdoings and failures, there can be a real solution for us. Humbling ourselves before God is the ultimate key that will allow us to experience the wonderful comfort that only the Almighty One can provide.

Last Song by Gackt

No matter how many times I hear this, I can still cry.

It's the second song that I've heard from Gackt back then, and it was this song that made me fell in love with his voice.

Note: The volume is a bit soft in the video, you might want to raise a volume a little.



Lyrics Translation: (from lyrics007.com)
Last Song - Gackt Camui

Walking around aimlessly by myself
Breathing a faint sigh, my breath turns white
Seasons change, and in this fleeting season..
My tears fall for no reason
"Even now, I still love you"

Falling sadness transforms into pure white snow
I'm always looking at the sky above me
Before this body disappears, I want to reach the wish I have now
Once more, I want to hold you

How many times have we not understood and hurt each other
But even at those times, we were still gentle
Engraved on the ring that you suddenly gave back to me
..Was our promise that will never come true
"Even now, I remember.."

These far off thoughts are just brilliant flashes in my memory
I wanted to be next to you
Even though I can't see you anymore, I'll always be next to you
I never want you to change
I can't erase those last tears that you showed me [from my memory]

In your heart, if I disappear along with all these snowflakes
I want to bloom [in your heart once again]
Don't forget the warmth of us being close together, and hugging
Don't forget even if you love someone else
I'll never let go [of the memory] of when I heard your voice last and so
..I just want to fall into a deep sleep

Continuously falling sadness transforms into pure white snow
I'm always looking at the sky above me
Before this body disappears, I want to reach the wish I have now
I want to hold you once more
"I want to hold you once more"

盲兔撞株

原来我没有望着前方。

我只是喜欢待在家

我真的是很喜欢待在家里。

有些人一整天待在家里
会坐立不安

可是我如果一整天都不在家
我会发疯闷慌

不要叫我从早到晚一直外出
外出后，回来我就是要待在家里。

不是我不喜欢外出
我也喜欢旅行
只是
我也迫切需要
每天一个人在家里独处的时光。

请不要觉得
我一个人享受在家独处的时光
是一种不想跟你们出去或相处的表现
真的不是这样的。

这些误会
总会让我很难过。

我真的很简单
我只是喜欢待在家里
想想做做自己的小事
听听唱唱喜欢的音乐
写写涂涂脑里有的没的

真的是这样而已。
我不要每次因为我要待在家
而让别人难过。
我不要为自己喜欢待在家的习惯
而觉得罪过。

只是现在
我坚持待在家里的决定
又让我难过了
因为你们难过。

Quiz: Get To Know Yourself Better

Get To Know Yourself Better Quiz taken at
http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Here's my quiz result.

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

Note:
I am sometimes straightforward but I believe that I'm somewhere between a dreamer and a realist, so I'm not all that down to earth. And I might solve problems but I'm not efficient.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Note:
I don't think I'll do anything and everything, I can only say I would try my best (within my capabilities) in keeping my love true. After all, I'm still a self-centered (and romantic) person.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you meet that person.

Note:
This is absolutely right. Lol.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Note:
True and I damn like the last line - fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education:
You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

Note:
Hmm I have many practical ideas? Like what?
I tend to follow my heart but I don't think I could end up with an unusual job, but I'll look forward to it.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

Note:
This just applies to mostly everyone (with similar cultural background as me) la. We were never raised to think that being an archaeologist or a social worker is good.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

Note:
Yeah fear of failing, but I'm accepting it already. I have different stages of failing in primary school, high school, and now in university, and it took me awhile to accept the failure and stand up again. I'm a chicken, a brave chicken.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Note:
I couldn't agree more. But it's really ironic, while independence is important to me yet I am afraid that I have no one to turn to when I'm in trouble.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

Note:
Full of energy? I'm only confident in certain situations. I'm not unpredictable la, I'm just a little bit more sensitive than most people.

Struggle, because I am alive

Sometimes I think the times that I think in English equals to the times that I think in Chinese. Now it's one of the times when I am thinking in English and feel like telling the thoughts in words.

I have very low stamina, both physically and psychologically.

I couldn't run or climb or cycle, but I can really walk for a long distance. I have a really short attention span - especially dealing with technical stuffs like how to use a software, how to create this and that effect with what and what plug-ins; but I find myself strangely attracted to certain art expressions - for example a recent wonderful performance that I attended, Butoh Jam, held in Annexe Gallery, or the surreal atmosphere in Murakami Haruki's novels.

It's been really long since I have ever feel recharged, after one whole year (or maybe longer) of dead batteries.

I need art. I need it to feel alive. I just couldn't feel anything with my university classes, they are draining away my motivation and my purpose, and I drowned myself to death. I often feel stupid in classes, it's as if I couldn't find a reason or a purpose for me to be there. And so when most of the university courses and friends around me focus on the technique, I know I need the struggle, a struggle to find a meaning behind all these robotic skills, a struggle to express myself with all these robotic skills and make it a not-your-typical-robotic-skill-only art.

Struggles are unpleasant, but it is necessary when I don't want to be like a machine. I can never ever continue to breathe without a purpose, without a meaning, and without art.

And if it's art, I can and I will continue to struggle and move forward, because I want to feel alive.

-----------------
"You have to love dancing to stick to it. It gives you nothing back, no manuscripts to store away, no paintings to show on walls and maybe hang in museums, no poems to be printed and sold, nothing but that single fleeting moment when you feel alive."

- Merce Cunningham (1919-2009)

烟霾的迷茫

像盛行的烟霾它

在肉体和灵魂之间
在行动与思考之间
在机械与生命之间

筑了一道倔强的雾帘
只有层层厚厚的朦胧。

看不见初衷
我学着烟雾
停留在半空。

最好的生日礼物

原来收到礼物的欢喜感觉
还是这么棒。

——我们总是不多话
——我的室友，谢谢你的礼物，我真的很开心。

收到远方老友的祝福
也是这么棒。

收到几乎没有联络的朋友祝福
也是非常棒。


有些曾经熟络的朋友
我是没有联络了。
就总觉得自己什么是不特别了
自己跟以前很棒的自己
不一样了。
不一样了，就不想让太多人知道
不想让太多人认识
没有什么成就的我。

我一直都有点抗拒为我而设的生日庆祝会
只因我觉得我不值那一些时间与欢喜。
我
是没有什么是值得庆祝的。

我一点都不棒。



母亲的短讯祝福
我哭了。

为什么生日不是为辛苦生下我的母亲而庆祝？

我才恍然发现
我的诞生
我的生命
就已经是一件可喜可贺的事。
（所以才叫生日吧）

是我不知足
是我一直想要一些什么
想要一些可以让别人对自己说
“嗨，你真棒！”　的成就表现
然后我才可以安心地抬头挺胸走上台说
“啊，谢谢你们。”

是我固步自封
是我改不了稚气的任性
是我改不了不伤人害己的自负
是我改不了我一直不知足的不知足



二十二岁的我
没有很成熟
没有很完美
没有很棒

可是我的二十二岁
是很棒的！


因为我收到了你们给我最好的生日礼物
就是爱。

嘿梦想

所谓随波逐流
所谓邯郸学步
话题又回到一点也不新鲜的
“迷失自己”。

当每个自己都说着
——啊，我迷失了。

如果你对于这句话
已经是到了极度厌恶的地步
不如鞭鞭自己的屁股
让自己少放肆一点
规律和纪律
会慢慢回来的

也就是现在这时候
我说啊

梦想
——嘿，我来找你咯！

----------------------
相关文字：　“还没准备好吗”

还没准备好吗

我
敲着梦想的门
门开了
而
我却一直在说

嘿
真抱歉
我还没准备好

---------------

这里有一篇好文分享：
　Taking Imperfection Action is the Perfect Action to Take, by Christine Kane


---------------

相关文字： 嘿梦想

Naked Fear

(Clicking the image will lead to my deviantArt with full-sized image.)

"Sometimes I just feel so scared as if I'm totally naked and fragile under the broad daylight. So I hide myself and hoping that no one can see me."

Sometimes I just feel like this.

It's not just about people looking down on me...
It's that sometimes I keep trying to run away and refusing to see my own naked self.