锈

从鼻孔吸入
血的
气味。

这是
我身上的
锈
呵。

置放自己
在一个安全的角落里
安心。不敢让自己太担心
不想让别人不开心。

可是却生锈了。
血腥
血腥

生锈的铁罐
看见了自己的锈
突然明暸
这锈
虽然不疼不痒
但确实是正在
腐蚀自己的
锈。

可是铁罐啊
自己没有办法
让自己不生锈

无力
多么地无力
铁罐是被人造的被造物
没有自我修复的能力
不能够为自己除锈防锈

能力不在自己。

所以
铁罐要依赖
唯有依赖
那一位
有心人
有能力为
铁罐除锈的。

祷告
请为我这不争气的
除除锈。

阿们。

十月份报告 | Monthly Report: October 2011

Things happened.

I'm trying to cope with it by searching for a job, in hope that when he recovers, I could tell him I'm happily working in some company already. He had seen me doing nothing at home after I completed my studies. I think this used to worried him. I'm trying to make up for things - although I'm not sure how. I even thought that maybe it was because that I wanted to run away from problems, so I kept myself busy with my job. But I think it's not really running away, it's just that I wanted to do something, than to see him suffer and couldn't help.

Hope is getting vague each day. But I still want to believe, things happen for a reason, and us being in the situation can't see the big picture yet. So I want to keep on believing, no matter how impossible it may seem, because God is infinite. I believe in miracles, and I want to witness the miracle. I will keep on believing in the most impossible, because God can make everything possible.


1. Relationship with God.

- Attended twice of church online sermons for the first two weeks.


4. Reading.

- Read Clive Barker's The Thief Of Always, graphic novel adaptation.

5. Train my left hand.


For brushing teeth and petty little things occasionally, because my right hand's aching doesn't occur so often anymore.

不要畏惧

现在的我
不敢动
眼睛呆滞锁着前方
脚扎根在地上了。

回想
去年的我
应该早就落跑了。

抬头
有天父
看守着我

所以现在的我
我不敢逃了
不能往回跑了。

只是我还是
不够勇敢。

恳请天父
在后面推我一把
好让我可以前进
毫无畏惧的
勇敢前进。

愿主永远与我们同在
奉主耶稣的名
阿门。