二零一一年目標回顧 | 2011 Resolution Review

2011, a year of mixed feelings.
Thank you Lord for all His blessings for me even though I did not deserved them.
I completed 5 out of 11 resolutions that I made, I need to have a clearer idea on what I want to do in the coming year.

1. Relationship with God. = Success =

Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for your unconditioned love and patience for me, please discipline me and teach me to put You first in everything I do.

- first thing in the morning, pray to God
- attends life church and talk-it-over discussions
- complete Youversion reading plan by May 2011

=  I did not pray in the mornings consistently, but my faith has grown stronger than ever - I kept making this prayer few years back to God to strengthen my faith, and now He made my faith strong.
= I did not attend Lifechurch consistently, especially during the last quarter of the year, I did not attend even once. But God gave me a strong push in going to a physical church. 
= Completed Youversion reading plan in May 2011.

2. Writing.= Success =

There are voices in my mind 24/7. They never shut up and sometimes I lose control of my emotions and feel very bipolar. I'm sorry that I'm unstable.

- jot down/take pic of important things
- organize my messy thoughts

= I am picking this habit back again, around the month of October, since father was in the hospital.

3. Exercise.= Failed =

Exercise helps to balance brain chemicals. Besides staying healthy, it helps to maintain my 'healthy' mood, so I will have less unstable times.

- jogging and/or swimming every weekend, 1 - 2 time(s)
- basic stretching
- wants to be able to bend over and touch the ground

= My old sports shoes doesn't work well anymore, so I stopped jogging. 
= I did not do much stretching and I still can't touch the ground without bending my knees.
= I've gained 2kg of weight, grown fatter around the tummy/waist/buttock area.

4. Reading. = Success =

Reading keeps me focused and ponder on some thoughts. I seriously need to relearn how to focus and concentrate.

- Finish "1Q84" (book 1 & 2) by Murakami Haruki
- NEW: Finish "1Q84" (book 3) by Murakami Haruki
- Finish "艺术治疗" by Dr. Shaun McNiff
- Finish Phil Yeh's and Chin Yew's Comics

= I haven't finish Dr. Shaun McNiff's  藝術治療, but I considered this a success because I've been reading something everyday as a habit already.
= Read mangas online, I am too lazy to list down the titles.
= Read 1Q84 (Book 1-3) by 村上春樹, Phil Yeh and Chin Yew's graphic novels, 廚房by 吉本芭娜娜，Peacemaker Kurogane Vol.1-5 (manga), Clive Barker's The Thief Of Always (graphic novel).
= Currently still reading 藝術治療, Dr Shaun McNiff / 徐志摩詩集 / Becoming A Person Of Influence, John C. Maxwell, Jim Dornan

5. Train my left hand. = Failed =

Due to less-than-severe-but-not-light injury from repetitive strain on my right hand/arm/颈椎, I would really want to put less strain on my right hand by training my left hand to do certain simple activities. It's good for the brain too.

- brush teeth
- write
- doodle

= I learnt how to brush my teeth with my left hand, but not writing and doodling. But I'm glad that the arm is not hurting soooo much already. 

6. Tidy/Cleaning Up Areas and Files. = Failed =

Workspace and the environment reflects your mind state. This has been on my to-do list like... for years. *guilty and embarassed* Yeah I have a very messy state of mind. I need to do something about it, the aim is to be “乱中有序” (luan4 zhong1 you3 xu4)，which means it seems messy but in fact there are certain rules/discipline to it, this has been my “座右铭” (zuo4 you4 ming2，motto) since high school.

Areas:
- workspace
- wardrobe
- bookcase(s)
- room desk
- room shelves

Digital Files and Non-digital Files:
- back up important files
- arrange them in appropriate folders and location
- Photos: upload.

= Although I did some cleaning up, but it's still not enough to tick all the above off. 

7. Draw. = Failed =

I wonder why I almost put this last.

- Paint something digitally.
- Clean up my dA deviations.

= I almost wanted to put a success until I read what I typed: paint something digitally and cleaning up dA deviations. I did not 'paint' something digitally, and I left my dA as it was, besides uploaded some traditional works once in a while. 

8. Revise Japanese Language.= Failed =

- just wanna be able to read hiragana and katakana without any difficulty

= I revised but slacked off since the 3rd quarter of the year. 

9. ll-m. = Failed =

No clear plans on this yet, but I will try.

= I still don't know what I want to do with this. Swt. 

10. Graduate and earn money. = Success =

Does this count? But I really wanna graduate very badly.
This is vague but yeah, regardless of full-time or part-time job, earn a decent amount of money then pay my own debts and give money to parents.

= Haven't pay all the debts - but I graduated and earned some money. Just that I couldn't gave it to my papa anymore, but I still have my lovely mama to give.

11. Drive to places. = Success =

If you see a driver that annoys you so much that you can't stop honking and pressure her, that's probably me. Sorry, I very noob, please forgive me, but I really have to learn to drive to places by myself. T_T

.= I drove to places, but still not very good in recognizing roads and directions. A good start, and a good experience of a minor accident and making a police report and claiming insurance.

十二月份报告 | Monthly Report: December 2011

過得有一點恍惚，有一點不真實。

爸爸離開我們，剛好一個月了。

我從小就是個哭包，想爸爸的時候
就哭了。有時候哭兩分鐘。
有時候哭一個小時。
有時候哭了又止、止了又哭。
不等。

（爸爸不喜歡別人哭。
我不可以哭醬多。）

哥今天寫了一句話
"It's been a month since father's left. We've kept things the same, but somehow they're different now."

再也貼切不過了。

1. Relationship with God.

- Did not attend lifechurch and lifegroup meetings.
- Attended Christmas Eve's gathering at church with bf, God gave him a special gift this Christmas. :)
- Attended church on Christmas day too.
- When I start to distance myself with Him, I easily got caught back in the negative self-pity self. The devil will try to fill in the void inside whenever I let myself become vacant.

4. Reading.

- 藝術治療, Dr Shaun McNiff pg.127
- 徐志摩詩集 pg.85
- Becoming A Person Of Influence, John C. Maxwell, Jim Dornan pg.15
- and read quite some mangas online that I didn't bother to list down

11. Drive to places.
- 27/12那天，出車禍了，對方車子不讓，所以我撞上去了。大家都說是小意外，可是對方堅持要報警。我被罰了款。也辛苦哥和嫂載我到處跑著處理文件和保險的事，還有浪費很多在警察局等待的時間。第一次車禍，嚇死我了。

明天再貼上一整年目標達成與否的總結。

十一月份报告 | Monthly Report: November 2011

時間過得很快，尤其在年齡登上二十的寶座之後。

爸爸在十一月的最後一天離開了。
感謝上帝，financially blessed 了我們一家，感謝上帝願意在我們獻上微不足道的tithe和offering裡，接受了並multiply我們所獻上的，我們一家才能夠擁有如此大的福氣。
也感謝上帝，沒有對我們太狠心……先讓我們稍微適應家裡沒有爸爸的日子，才慢慢讓聖靈進入把拔的心，才慢慢帶走父親，雖然沒有親眼看見天使，但我會不斷地祈求，懇請上帝的天使們繼續守護著父親。

謝謝教友Shaista D以及朋友們的祈禱
謝謝所有教會的親戚朋友不斷地為父親禱告
上帝會賜福與你們。

上帝對我們prayers的回答只有三，那就是“Yes”, “Later” 或 “I have a better plan”
雖然上帝對我們的祈求沒有說“Yes”，可是我們深信上帝會有更好的計劃，
上帝是我們全能的神。

謝謝親愛姐妹們的支持，我很感動；
還有被坤中情聯繫著的朋友，雖然我們不曾很熟絡，
可是你們恰當的問候與支持，很讓人窩心。

1. Relationship with God.

- Did not attend lifechurch nor lifegroup meetings. :(
- Attended church once.
- Been seeing a lot of God's work and God's people at work, and there are many God's people around me.
- He gave me peace and took away my worries.

4. Reading.

- 藝術治療, Dr Shaun McNiff
- 徐志摩詩集
- Becoming A Person Of Influence, John C. Maxwell, Jim Dornan

十月份报告 | Monthly Report: October 2011

Things happened.

I'm trying to cope with it by searching for a job, in hope that when he recovers, I could tell him I'm happily working in some company already. He had seen me doing nothing at home after I completed my studies. I think this used to worried him. I'm trying to make up for things - although I'm not sure how. I even thought that maybe it was because that I wanted to run away from problems, so I kept myself busy with my job. But I think it's not really running away, it's just that I wanted to do something, than to see him suffer and couldn't help.

Hope is getting vague each day. But I still want to believe, things happen for a reason, and us being in the situation can't see the big picture yet. So I want to keep on believing, no matter how impossible it may seem, because God is infinite. I believe in miracles, and I want to witness the miracle. I will keep on believing in the most impossible, because God can make everything possible.


1. Relationship with God.

- Attended twice of church online sermons for the first two weeks.


4. Reading.

- Read Clive Barker's The Thief Of Always, graphic novel adaptation.

5. Train my left hand.


For brushing teeth and petty little things occasionally, because my right hand's aching doesn't occur so often anymore.

九月份报告 | Monthly Report: September 2011

Sorry I've forgotten to publish this. Not much things done.

1. Relationship with God.

- Missed church online.
- Completed "Major Events" reading plan on Youversion

4. Reading.

- Dr. Shaun McNiff's "艺术治疗" (Art as Medicine), at pg 111. (9 pages this month, swt)
- Been reading Peacemaker manga I've bought very long ago (2005), vol. 1 to 5.

5. Train my left hand.

Only used it for brushing teeth occasionally.

6. Tidy/Cleaning Up Areas and Files.

Slowly progressing.

八月份报告 | Monthly Report: August 2011

Selamat Hari Raya and Happy Merdeka Day to all!

Time to conclude this month's progress again.

1. Relationship with God.

- Downloaded and watched 4 Lifechurch sermons, 1 complete series of "BOLD"
- Am on track for my "Major Events" reading plan on Youversion

4. Reading.

- Dr. Shaun McNiff's "艺术治疗" (Art as Medicine), at pg 102. (20 pages per month -_-)

5. Train my left hand.

Fairly good in using my left hand to brush teeth, just not as fast and strong as the right hand.

6. Tidy/Cleaning Up Areas and Files.

Been cleaning up some boxes and areas of my room.

7. Draw.

Drawn 1 picture. Not posted online yet.

七月份报告 | Monthly Report: July 2011

1. Relationship with God.

- Attended 4 Lifechurch sessions, 1 complete series of "At The Movies"
- Am on track for my "Major Events" reading plan on Youversion
- Starting reading my new believer's bible from lifechurch as a gift
- Feeling grateful for everyday, feeling closer to God, and feeling Him close to me too :)

2. Writing.

- I blogged. Yeah.

3. Exercise.

- Only did inconsistent stretching exercises at home.
- Toe wound infection, can't swim.
- Sports shoes defect, can't jog comfortably. My shoes are making my feet pain even before I start to jog.

4. Reading.

- Finished reading "Kitchen" (厨房) by Yoshimoto Banana （吉本芭娜娜）, sure is a sad emotional book.
- Dr. Shaun McNiff's "艺术治疗" (Art as Medicine), at pg 81.

5. Train my left hand.

Not doing any drawing and writing exercises with my left hand. But I'm fairly good in using my left hand to brush teeth already. But it's still slower and some angles are still very awkward to brush with the left hand.

6. Tidy/Cleaning Up Areas and Files.

Been cleaning up parts of my workspace, my room and my laptop. Feels good!
Hope could get everything done soon!

7. Draw.

- Drawn 1 small pic. Heh. Extremely low productivity.
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六月份报告 | Monthly Report: June 2011

Time really flies faster when you over 20, and increasing its speed every year. Goodbye June. It's already half past year 2011.

1. Relationship with God.

- Haven't been attending Lifechurch and Talk-it-over sessions and my Gogetters Lifegroup ( > < ) - Started my "Major Events" reading plan on Youversion
- Completed some 2 topical reading plans, "Assurance" and "Diligence"
- Still trying to see and experience God in my everyday life, it's a shame that I'm not a diligent person

2. Writing.

- I wrote my diaries
- I blogged
- and I talked to people about my messy thoughts, though talking sometimes gets me stirred up, or even more confused, I know I just can't stop myself from thinking... and I have problems shutting down the 'constantly-thinking (about various stuffs)' program.

3. Exercise.

My original intention of exercising was to balance my brain chemicals, which is important for me to keep a 'healthy' or a 'normal' mood. Original plans includes jogging and swimming, basic stretching and bend down touch the ground.

- Jogged once, but I don't think I can jog in my old running shoes anymore. It made my feet ached, my whole feet started to feel the pain even I had just started to run... so... jogging needs to wait.
- I think... I swam once. Yeah.
- Basic stretching, yes very simple ones, and some random dances at home. Lol.
- No, I still can't touch the ground.

4. Reading.

- Finish "1Q84" (book 1 & 2) by Murakami Haruki
- NEW: Finish "1Q84" (book 3) by Murakami Haruki
- Dr. Shaun McNiff's "艺术治疗" (Art as Medicine) is really time-consuming, I need to keep on repeating the same lines before I could roughly understand what it means. It's not a bad read (or was the translation that's bad? :p) but it is deep, personal, opinionated, academic, comparisons, experience and imagination type of book. I theeenk. I'm on page 66 btw.
- Started reading "Kitchen" (厨房) by Yoshimoto Banana （吉本芭娜娜）, pg24. Damn it reminds me of my old blog, and the story... reminds me of the Japanese manga by Hatori Bisco, Ouran High School Host Club.


[WARNING SPOILER AHEAD]






WHY does Japanese single father likes to transgender and works in a pub because they think they'll never fall in love with another woman again? Or did Hatori Bisco actually DID plagiarized the background of the father from Yoshimoto Banana? OR was it a... common backstory for Japanese plot? Sorry, I just couldn't stand the generic type of story. -___-







[SPOILER ENDS]


5. Train my left hand.

Going well according to plan. Been using my left hand to practice brushing teeth, practice writing and doodling. Still need more time to fully get used to the activities.

6. Tidy/Cleaning Up Areas and Files.

*Ahem* Work-in-progress.

7. Draw.

- Did commissions.
- Drawn one fanart. *runs in embarassment*

8. Revise Japanese Language.

- Japanese... no.
- Korean, I think I can recognize some korean alphabets already, but not all yet.

9. ll-m.

Hmm, not yet for this one.

10. Graduate and earn money.

Ok, not yet earn money lah.

11. Drive to places.

Hmm.. drove to a couple of more places nearby. Less worried already, but still mom's nagging is still severely harming my already-very-low-and-pitiful self-confidence in driving. Sigh. Btw, my side parking sucks like nobody else.

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五月份报告 | Monthly Report: May 2011

Just a short update, because I have been shamelessly playing a lot of games - which means I'm not really doing much things other than gaming and wasting time.

*Having a Blast! - I am having so much fun that it's almost criminal!*
Can you guess one of the games that I've been playing? :p

1. Relationship with God.
Completed First Step Reading Plan on YouVersion. God heard my Sun Stand Still prayer. Thank you Lord Jesus, for having mercy on me.

4. Reading.
- "1Q84" (book 3) by Murakami Haruki, at page 273

I love this booooook!!

5. Train my left hand.
Brushed my teeth with both left and right hand. When right hand hurts, I use the left. When the right hand feels fine, I use the right. =p

7. Draw.
Doing art commissions.

10. Graduate and earn money.
Ok! I'm not earning money yet... but I passed my Final Year Project! Yay!

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四月份报告 | Monthly Report: April 2011

Yikes, I told myself to update this in early May, and I almost forgot about it. It was a very unhealthy and stressful month for me. It's amazing to know I still can be very bipolar at times. Ups and downs. Somehow... God has shown me enough mercy and miracles. I just have to pull it through... and I know that it is the END of my whatever emotional drama; because someone who has a very high self-esteem (although it only applies to certain areas of my 'expertise') like myself just hate the feeling of low self-esteem and lack of confidence. So here it goes.

1. Relationship with God.
Went to life church twice I think. Read the notes but skipped the discussions because I was kinda losing track of time. BUT something BIG happened!!! This I cannot stop saying it! God answered my mother's and my prayers!! I kept on praying for a chance for me to complete my animation, and mother prayed for my self-confidence, and I had gotten both now. God is good! I cannot express my feeling of gratefulness. God never left me alone to rot, God is there watching over me, always. Thank you, my Lord!

3. Exercise.
- Did stretching and simple exercises inconsistently.
- Didn't jog at all.

4. Reading.
- Completed "1Q84" (book 2)
- Started "1Q84" (book 3)
- Reading Air Gear Manga, at chapter 249 now.

5. Train my left hand.
Brush teeth using both my right hand and the left.

11. Drive to places.
Only drove to campus and to friend's house nearby. Not much improvement.

Well, I've been working on my Final Year Project this month, not to mention about personal matters, because there always will be a particular group of friends who doesn't know how to respect. To those who are not my close friends, yes I am actually very particular and picky towards the way you express yourself to me.

三月份报告 | Monthly Report: March 2011

Link to: 2011 Reso-Resolution

March didn't become a productive month for me. I still chicken out on things.

1. Relationship with God.
Went to life church weekly, joined a talk-it-over discussion. Did prayers, but I am not sure if I did things right, not sure if I'm on the right path. My bible reading plan is almost 3 weeks behind the schedule. The feeling of recording a reverse progress feels terrible.

2. Writing.
No... not thinking too much lately, so haven't been writing to myself. But have been exchanging letters and thoughts with friends. Philosophy and views on various things, specifically in love.

3. Exercise.
- Did stretching inconsistently.
- Didn't jog at all. T_T

4. Reading.
- On page 255 for "1Q84" (book 2)
- Completed Chin Yew's titles.
- Reading Air Gear Manga, at chapter 249 now.

5. Train my left hand.
Brush teeth using both my right hand and the left, the left hand doesn't do the job well.
Haven't practice doodling and writing with my left hand yet.
Washed dishes with my left hand once.

8. Revise Japanese Language.
Revised some Japanese hiragana and kanji pronunciation, thanks yenyen for helping with my revision. Haven't done any Hangul consonants and vowels revision.

11. Drive to places.
I'm still driving dangerously.I'm sorry, please forgive me, I'm very noob.
I drove to the post office in Cyberjaya, drove to Mid Valley and drove through Puchong with the aid from Mummi and Jacky, my side parking still suck. But I feel more intimate with Gaga now.

二月份报告 | Monthly Report: Feb 2011

Link to: 2011 Reso-Resolution

Progress on the following goals this month. I'm slipping!

1. Relationship with God.
Uh uh, not good. I had been distant with Him.

- Forgetting to do morning prayers, did them 2-3 times in a week. > < - Lifechurch streaming has been extremely lag. Did not join any talk-it-over, but still read the sermon notes. - My bible reading plan is behind schedule by a week.

2. Writing.
Did some random notes on some small thoughts and feelings. Here and there, some were written and some were typed. Had not gone through my collection of notes and diaries and photos.

3. Exercise.
- Did stretching inconsistently.
- Jogged once, and it rained.

4. Reading.
- On page 393 for "1Q84" (book 1)
- Completed Phil Yeh's graphic novels.
- Rereading Air Gear Manga, at chapter 63 now.

5. Train my left hand.
Brushed teeth with left hand, most of the days.

8. Revise Japanese Language.
Revised some Japanese hiragana, been slightly better in Japanese input.
And started to learn Hangul. Haha wtf.

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一月份报告 | Monthly Report: Jan 2011

Link to: 2011 Reso-Resolution

Had some progress on the following goals this month.

1. Relationship with God.
God has been extremely kind to me and has shown mercy on me. His voice has never been this clear before, I am extremely touched, it's an amazing feeling that no words can describe. May God bless everyone who reads this.

- I did morning prayers, but not everyday. I want to make this a habit.
- Attended weekly online churches and talk-it-over discussions.
- My bible reading plan is on schedule.

2. Writing.
This monthly report is part of the effort for organizing my messy thoughts (and helping me to stay on track). Some pictures were taken, but haven't gone through them yet.

- I'm losing my habit of writing (diary), instead, I kept little notes here and there.

3. Exercise.
- Did stretching like once in a while, inconsistently.
- Jogged only once.

4. Reading.
- On page 152 for "1Q84" (book 1)
- Read a couple of Phil Yeh's graphic novels.

5. Train my left hand.
Been using my left hand to brush my teeth, almost everyday, every time.

6. Tidy/Cleaning Up Areas and Files.
Sort of cleaned up my work area, but I am still looking for some 'perfect' location to place some stuffs, instead of just placing it somewhere. I want to get this done before CNY.

11. Drive to places.
Drove all by myself for the first time, on 27th Jan 2011.

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