I'm trying to cope with it by searching for a job, in hope that when he recovers, I could tell him I'm happily working in some company already. He had seen me doing nothing at home after I completed my studies. I think this used to worried him. I'm trying to make up for things - although I'm not sure how. I even thought that maybe it was because that I wanted to run away from problems, so I kept myself busy with my job. But I think it's not really running away, it's just that I wanted to do something, than to see him suffer and couldn't help.
Hope is getting vague each day. But I still want to believe, things happen for a reason, and us being in the situation can't see the big picture yet. So I want to keep on believing, no matter how impossible it may seem, because God is infinite. I believe in miracles, and I want to witness the miracle. I will keep on believing in the most impossible, because God can make everything possible.
1. Relationship with God.
- Attended twice of church online sermons for the first two weeks.
- Read Clive Barker's The Thief Of Always, graphic novel adaptation.
5. Train my left hand.
For brushing teeth and petty little things occasionally, because my right hand's aching doesn't occur so often anymore.